Emotional Intelligence (Part 2)

In part two of our series on Emotional Intelligence, John Maxwell teaches the importance of motivation, empathy, and social skills in an emotionally intelligent leader. John reminds us that, like leadership, emotional intelligence is not something that some people are born with and others aren’t. Emotional intelligence can be learned and developed.

Mark Cole and Chris Goede point out the shift throughout John’s lesson from me-focused to others-focused, and they discuss how empathy and social skills ultimately help us serve others well. Mark quotes John by reminding us: “We do not see things as they are; we see things as we are.” Emotional intelligence allows us to be empathetic to others as we see how our personal biases get in the way of healthy developing relationships.

Our BONUS resource for this series is The Emotional Intelligence Worksheet, which includes fill-in-the-blank notes from John’s teaching. You can download the worksheet by clicking “Download the Bonus Resource” below.

READ THE TRANSCRIPT

Chris Goede:               Welcome to the John Maxwell Leadership Podcast! My name’s Chris Goede, and I have the privilege of co-hosting today with Mark Cole as we dive into part two of emotional intelligence. If you’re interested in downloading the show notes before you listen today, go visit: Maxwellpodcast.com/emotion and there you will be able to click on the “Bonus Resource” button to be able to download those. Now, let’s dive into today’s lesson on emotional intelligence by Dr. John C. Maxwell.

John Maxwell:             The third emotional component is motivation. Here we go, self-motivation proceeds people motivation. Always has, always will. I love it when a leader comes and says, “John how do I motivate my people?” I say, “That’s not the question that you need to ask. Let me ask you a question, how self-motivated are you?” I have never known a lazy person to motivate anybody. Not one time have I ever looked and seen an undisciplined person help somebody get disciplined. People do—it’s in your notes—what people see. It’s the greatest motivational principle in the world. We are visually attracted to people that will begin to motivate us. So, motivated people, number one, have a drive to achieve. The first sign is the passion for the work itself. Such people seek out creative challenges, love to learn, take pride in a job well-done, they also display an unflighting energy to do things better. Passion is contagious, and passion is attractive. Passion provides energy. Number two, motivated people have a clear picture of what is important. Jack Welch said this statement, “Every leader needs to clearly explain the top three priorities of the organization. If you can’t then you’re not leading well.” Good stuff.

I wrote a book, The 17 Laws of Teamwork. I don’t know if you’ve read that book or not, but it’s a book basically on teamwork laws that you need to apply to teams so that teams can work effectively. One of the laws, I have in your notes, is The Law of the Scoreboard, and the Law of the Scoreboard says, “A team can make adjustments when it knows where it stands.” When you think of the scoreboard in an arena, why is the scoreboard in such a visual place? I mean, you’re never going to go to an arena and have the scoreboard hidden. They don’t have it in a back hallway. Well, it’s because you can look at the scoreboard, even if you’ve missed the first quarter of the game, you can look at the scoreboard very quickly and assess what’s happening. And, the scoreboard allows you and me then to make changes appropriately. I mean, you literally have a game plan when you go to the game but then the score of the game kind of determines how you play the game; and seeing a picture clearly is where it is. I remember one time I was talking to some people and I was saying, “What’s motivating about bowling—” and I’m not a bowling person, I’ve done a little bowling, but I ain’t good at it, but what’s motivating about bowling is the fact that when you release the ball down the alley within about three seconds you get instant feedback. Think about it. You got all ten pins, you know, if you’ve got two pins, it doesn’t take long till you get—and that’s the feedback! And I’ve had people say, “Oh, I just go out with my friends and we just bowl.” I said, “Okay then. If you love it so much, next time you go bowling take the pins out.” Still imagine, remove the pins, we just like to roll the ball. I promise you, you won’t roll that ball over three or four times. It’s going to go thud against the back and you’re not going to pick up a, what? 16-pound bowling ball. Then why don’t you quit bowling? Because it’s not even fun to roll a ball if you don’t know how well you did at the end. This whole issue of a clear picture of what you’re trying to achieve. Did I achieve it? That in itself is motivating.

And, then, number three, motivated people enjoy the challenge. They literally like to be stretched. Often, I say this, I love this phrase because it’s true, “Winners stretch to the challenge and whiners shrink from the challenge.” Isn’t that true? You’ve put out a B.H.A.G. of big, hairy, audacious goal to a winner and they almost go into a fit. Saliva starts pouring; they can hardly wait to go after this goal. I mean, let me at it, let me at it. You throw a big goal out in front of somebody that’s a whiner, and they can’t find an exit sign fast enough. They’re out of dodge before you can even get the gun and shoot ‘em. “Winners stretch to the challenge; whiners shrink from it.”

I was in Singapore a couple of years ago—oh, this is a great story! I’m signing books, this young lady, probably about twenty-four, twenty-five comes up to me with the Today Matters book and so, she hands it to me for me to sign and she said, “I’d like you to sign the back cover for me, please.” I said, “Well, I would be glad to.” I said, “That’s a little unusual request.” I said, “I usually sign the front.” “Oh.” She said, “You were here last year, and I bought the book and you signed the front.” Sure enough, I went to the front where I had signed a year ago. She said, “I want you to sign the back now because I’ve read the book.” So, I signed the back, you know, and kind of, “Congratulations. You know, you and three other people in the world have read one of my books, you know what I mean.” Then she looked at me, and she said, not an a arrogant way at all—very focused young lady, she said, “I’ve read your entire book and I memorized the Daily Dozen, what do I do now?” I thought, “Oh my goodness. How is it that you can put a book in some people’s hands, and they can read that book from cover to cover, memorize it, apply it, live it, flush it out, do it. And then you hand another person the same book, and they don’t even crack it open. Then, they wonder why they’re not a success. As my friend Jim Roden use say, “Don’t send your ducks to eagle school. Because if you give a book to a duck, they’ll just quack all the way to the pond. Give it to an eagle, they’ll fly with it, they’ll do something with it.” Motivated people take those resources and do something with it. And therefore, they are optimistic even during difficulties. In other words, they self-regulate their feelings. This I love, I love the fact that they have the ability to subject their feelings, even during difficult times; and they thrive.

Let’s look at empathy for a moment, the fourth social skill. Empathy is thoughtfully considering the feelings of others along with other factors in the process of making decisions. I think of the five emotional components, empathy is probably the most easily recognized because with people with empathy, you can tell it’s something you can feel. John Kotter, he wrote a book ten or twelve years ago on change. It’s quite phenomenal. He’s a Harvard teacher, a professor in the business school and he’s really got a lot of good stuff. John Kotter wrote a book a couple of years ago called A Sense of Urgency, and he called me and asked me to read the manuscript for it. He had this statement in his book, “Great leaders went over the hearts and the minds of others.” What’s key is, the heart comes before the mind and great leaders understand that. It didn’t say, “Great leaders went over the mind and then the heart.” No, no. You go to the heart, you go to the empathy side, you go to the heart and then you get the mind. Whenever I’m developing material, I have what I call the “4 H’s”, when you hear me teach, whenever you hear me write, I’m going to always have the “4 H’s”. One is humor; something that will make people laugh. Secondly is heart; something that will captivate people’s emotions. Thirdly is hope; something that will inspire people. And, the fourth “H” is help; something that will help them in a tangible way. And three of those four “H’s” deal with empathy. And empathy is important because of number one, the increasing use of teams. When you have teams, empathy of a leader is very important because leaders need to excel in listening, they need to excel in serving, they need to excel in observing.

Number two because of globalization. Again, the cross-cultural dialogue really calls for us to be able to show our heart. I don’t know if you do any international type of teaching, but let me just say this because I do a lot of it and because I’m in a lot of countries and a lot of cultures, my number one priority for my first one-hour when I do teaching internationally, cross-culturally, language barriers a lot of times, translators, sometimes simultaneous translations. My number one passionate desire for my first hour is not to teach them what I know, but to let them know how much I care for them. You’ve heard me use the expression many times, “Hi, my name is John. I’m your friend. I want to talk to you.” I do a lot of work in China with a major promotor who has just been a wonderful friend of mine and has put me in front of thousands, and thousands, and thousands of people. His name is Rocky. When I was in China we were talking. He was talking about several years ago when he had first met me, he said, “John, I’ll never forget, in the first one minute of our conversation, you looked across the table, and leaned over and said, ‘Rocky, what can I do to help you? What can I do to serve you? I’m here to add value to you. I’m here to add value to your people. What can I do for you?’” He said, “John, I looked at you and I thought, ‘Man, he wants to add value to me! This is heart to heart.’” You see, people will not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. That’s empathy. That’s the heart.

The third—empathy is important because of the need to retain talent. Because relationships it the foundation of leadership, and so, to retain good talent there has to be a lot of heart. And, humility is the quality that leads to empathy. No question about it. The foundation, the earth’s spring of empathy is a person that is filled with humility. Which is very true.

Okay, emotional intelligence, four things: Self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy…number five is social skills.

So, let me just talk to you just a moment about social skills and we will wrap this lesson up. The first three components of emotional intelligence are all about self-management. The last two, empathy and social skill concerning a person’s ability to manage a relationship with others. As a component of emotional intelligence, social skill is not as simple as it sounds. It’s not just a matter of friendliness, although, people with high levels of social skill are rarely mean spirited. Here’s the key right here, social skill, rather as friendliness with a purpose, moving people in the direction you desire.

Let me talk a moment about Nelson Mandela and let me just read this one paragraph on Nelson Mandela. This one I would highly recommend as a good leadership book, The Mandela Way. And what’s so great about this book is it talks about his emotional intelligence and it talks about how he led people with heart. Okay, let me read the paragraph.

“Mandela sees the good in others both because it is his nature and in his interest. At times, that is meant by being blindsided, but he has always been willing to take that risk…and it is a risk. We tend to think of risk as a physical daring like attempting a dangerous climb or making a decision with an uncertain outcome like putting our money into an investment that is not a sure thing.” And, here’s a great quote—here it is: “But Mandela believes it takes emotional risk. He goes out on a limb and makes himself vulnerable by trusting others. We sometimes do that by confining in others we don’t know very well yet. We rarely equate risks with trying to see what is decent, honest, and good about the people in our daily lives. ‘I see too much good in people.’ Mandela once told me. So, it’s a criticism I put up with and I’ve tried to adjust because whether it is so or not, it is something I think that is profitable.” Here’s what Mandela says, “It’s a good thing to assume, to act on a basis that others are men of integrity and honor because you tend to attract integrity and honor if that is how you regard those with whom you work.” He said, “I believe in that.” When I was reading that wonderful closing, little paragraph of yours as I wrap up this lesson, I thought to myself, “I have found that to be very true.” There are a lot of expressions that I use that talk about believing in people. There is an expression I use all the time, I tell leaders all the time, “Put a ten on your people’s forehead.” Because whatever number you put on a person’s forehead that is exactly the level you will lead them on. So, if you think of them as a two, you will lead them like a two, I promise you. If you think of them as a seven, you will lead them like a seven. Put a ten on their forehead.

Another quote I say a lot is, “It’s wonderful when the people believe in their leader, but it’s even more wonderful when the leader believes in the people.” That’s social intelligence. Or their people are their most appreciable asset, or encouragement is the oxygen for the soul. Or people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Or loving people proceeds leading people or touch a heart before you ask for a hand. Emotional intelligence, here’s what I know: it is impossible to lead people just from the mind; they’ve got to see the heart, and it’s the heart that wins them over. It’s the heart that touches them. So, as a leader, take the risk. Take the risk of baring your soul, showing your heart, because I promise you, it will help you more than it will hurt you.

Chris Goede:               Back in the room today with Mark Cole, and I love how John just wrapped up that session where he said, “You have to see the heart.” And I’m looking forward to just, kind of, unpacking this today with Mark and some of his insights as we wrap up this series on emotional intelligence today. We’re going to talk about Part 2, we’re going to talk about, really, kind of, three, four, and five of the components that John just kind of laid out for us. What I thought was really interesting is he, kind of, was wrapping up he said, “Man, one, two, and three—” and if you didn’t listen to Part 1, make sure you go back and do that. But he said, “One, two and three are really about self; four and five are really about others.” And so, we are going to dive in and kind of knock that out today. Mark, initial thoughts on just listening to John right there?

Mark Cole:                  Yeah, I’ve heard John say often that we don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are. And, so, we a lot of times, we take this emotional intelligence and we try to broadcast out to the world things that will help them, when really, we’re the one crying out for help. I mean, how many arguments have we been in that we’ve tried to get the other person to see our point of view without first seeing their point of view. Or, if you’re like me, and the horrible way I have tried to convince Stephanie that my way is the right way is I see her reaction to me as I’m seeing my reaction to her and it impacts our ability to connect. On personal levels, absolutely in the workspace as well. So, I want you to know, some of you are listening to this going, “Okay, can we get off the emotional stuff? I’ve got some stuff to do!” And, John’s really challenging us to do that. You know, there’s another great quote by Alfred Adler which was a 1920th century psychotherapist, he said, “Empathy is seeing with the eyes of another, listening with the ears of another, and feeling with the heart of another.” Again, a lot of times in yesterday’s workspace—this was 1920th century—in yesterday’s workspace we try to keep heart in feeling out of it. “I know how you’re feeling, but we don’t do feelings here. This is a corporate environment.” We create this stale, cold, ability, and I don’t think that ever motivated people. I think we pushed through that; but it definitely does not motivate today’s generation of workers and team members.

Chris Goede:               Yeah, yeah. No, good stuff! Completely agree with you. So, let’s dive in! Number three, or the first point of today in Part 2, John talks about motivation. Man, he’s a highly motivated guy. I know you’re highly motivated to the calling that you have received. He said in there that self-motivation proceeds motivating others. Right? You got to have the discipline. There’s two things I want to talk about on the air with you. When you talk about just this daily discipline, John’s like, “I’m a boring guy.” Right? “I’m disciplined.” Talk a little bit about that, in regards to John’s motivation, your motivation, and just the discipline structures you guys have set up when it comes to leading other people.

Mark Cole:                  Yeah, to farther extrapolate out right there, Chris, John says that nobody ever gets fired up when they go, “Wow! You are so consistent!” I mean, and then he goes into this whole teaching thing, and those of you who have heard him teach, people go up to me and say, “Man, Chris! I just have to tell you man—oh! Chris! You are so…” And you’re waiting on this word and then I come out with, “Chris, you are so consistent!” And, it’s just kind of like the air comes out of the room, and you go, “I thought you were going to tell me I was amazing. I thought you were going to tell me I was tall.” You know, “I thought you were going to really give me something substance here and you call me consistent.” But, really, that is a big motivation is consistency. We sometimes, we associate motivation with hype. Or, we associate motivation with a pep rally. “Oh! If we can just motivate the team!” And, what we really mean is that if we can go out there and get people so emotionally charged, that they’ll go out and do something incredible. I love when John teaches this, now he’s in front of a crowd, we’re talking self-motivation here, but John says that he is a motivational teacher, not a motivational speaker. He does not want to be called a motivational speaker. And then he goes on and says, “A motivational speaker will make you feel good but the next day you don’t know why.” A motivational teacher will make you feel good but the next day, you will know how to sustain it and do something intentional with it.

Well, internally, I’ve seen way to many leaders that rely on another emotional high to be effective rather than choosing to be a motivated individual that through consistency allows their team to know this is not good pizza last night, this is not a great evening last night, this is because I’m waking up today, and we’re playing that infinite game that will always keep us in a place of being excited, being motivated about the future.

Chris Goede:               Why that’s so important, I think about it, is I’ve heard John say, “Leadership is a visual sport, your team is watching you! All the time.” And, if you have that consistent level of motivation, then I think they’re going to follow that. Right? And that’s the example that you’re setting. The other thing around this motivation topic, and maybe it’s even the other side of it, maybe it’s demotivating as we unpack this a little bit. You and I had the privilege of being with John the last week or so when he was speaking to Movement Mortgage, Casey Crawford’s incredible culture and organization to his leadership team. I always love hearing the questions in the room, but I love hearing John’s response, and one of the questions was, “John, like, I mean, how do you stay motivated through adversity? Like, how in the world do you handle that? What does that look like?” And John just paused for a little bit, and then he talked about two things that are really, really important that I think as we talk about under motivation because John talks about challenge and defining reality. Unpack a little bit about the answer that he had, and what that looks like.

Mark Cole:                  Well, I think a lot of times we look at motivation as an outward stimuli. It’s got to be outward. Something’s got to stimulate me from the outside to be motivated. So, we look, we want to go home, we want something good, we want good news, a great P&L, “We just accomplished the best year we’ve ever had!” And we look for these external sources to stimulate us, our feelings, our motivation. And, yet, what John answers—when he answered that movement, what he answers all the time about this motivation is, “I don’t look externally for motivation, I look internally. I want my vision to inspire me, not mile markers or success points on my way to my vision.” So many people are goal oriented rather than growth oriented. John teaches that. But when we’re goal oriented, we let the motivation of a goal keep us going, but when we reach the goal, we find ourselves going, “What’s next? What do I do?” That’s because our motivation was an external source and not an internal source. When we depend on our self to motivate our self in the good days and the bad days, we have a much greater propensity to consistency because we know both is required. John said this in that setting, this is what you’re talking about, “There’s no two great days in a leader’s life. There’s no two consecutive great days in a leader’s life.”

Chris Goede:               What? Is that true?

Mark Cole:                  Well, yesterday was a bad day for me, and I’m having a good day today so, kudos to you!

Chris Goede:               Yeah, I was going to ask you, which was which, but I couldn’t get there.

Mark Cole:                  Yeah, so there are no two consecutive good days in a leader’s life. What John is really saying there is you can’t depend on external factors to make you enjoy and be motivated as a leader. There’s got to be something on the internal inside that you can control that consistency to where people can be around you and be motivated every time they are around you.

Chris Goede:               That’s good. And if you can’t figure it out yourself, you’re not going to be able to do it with your team.

Mark Cole:                  That’s exactly right!

Chris Goede:               All right, so the fourth component on this overall series John talks about empathy. And, you know, John wrote a book, Good Leaders Ask Great Questions. Phenomenal book! One of the things I would love to just hear your thoughts around this and the way that you lead and our team here, is really, just understanding the power of connecting with people through questions in order to have that empathetic side driving what I think all leaders and organizations are looking for is a better retention rate with their team and working through all that. Talk about the model as a leader that you try to live out around the empathetic side of those that you have the privilege of leading.

Mark Cole:                  Yes, so, you referenced John’s passion for questions. I mean, he is relentless that leaders should be asking more questions than stating more facts or answers or direction. One of the things that I get to do every week, I get to host a Q&A. We call it a “Power Hour”, but I get to host this Q&A question and answer session with a lot of our teammates from around the world. I will be honest with you, it is one of the places that I learn the most in any given week is when people are asking me questions, and as I hear what is on their mind, it allows me to craft communication and direction that will better mobilize our team. Before I did that, I did not realize the significance of the John Maxwell Team Certified Members ability to help us get to our envisioned future of transforming self, community, and country. I didn’t get it. I was like, “How am I going to do this?! How am I going to do this?!” I got on these calls and I began to hear their questions. Questions like, “How can I get more involved?” “How can I have more significance? I’ve got all this success, but how do I do something of meaning rather than things meaningful happening to me?” And, it was in that Q&A that I realized and began to have empathy that the team around me was already ready to mobilize to transform themselves, transform their communities, transform their countries. It’s just like our friend, Ed Bastian is the CEO of Delta Airlines, good friend of John. He’s mentored me every year for the last several years. He’s on our board…great, great leader! But he tells a story of when Northwest, if you’ll remember that airline. And, Delta were merging there was bankruptcy, it was the worst of times. What Ed and that leadership team did is they went around and did these listening tours for over two years. Every Thursday, Friday, Saturday a consistent time of going out and breaking people up into small groups—250/300, and listening to their 80,000 people, their 80,000-member team going out and saying, “Okay, what is bothering you? What are you questioning about this merger? About what we’re trying to do?” And he said the he greatest result of that was the fact that the people in those town halls—what they called them—the people in those town halls felt like they mattered. He said now we got great information! Gave us great communication! We got great ideas, great business models that’s made them now the best airline in the world. But he said the real thing that happened is, is they felt like they mattered. In other words, leadership was taking time and just slowing down and just making them important.

Chris Goede:               Our team, our people, even ourselves, we want to be heard! And with that story, when you talk about what Ed did, there’s no doubt that there’s a direct correlation to that skill set that is learned, remember? John said we can learn these components, and the retention they had during that whole merger acquisition.

Mark Cole:                  Yeah.

Chris Goede:               All right. Let’s jump over to the fifth component. This is really the second one of, kind of, the others facing in regards to emotional intelligence. When I think about this, I really think about someone being extremely purposeful. And, you do life with a guy everyday that everything has a purpose behind it. I think that J.M. is probably one of the most purposeful guys that I know; leaders that I know. But, it’s so personal around the people. Right? Don’t miss what John’s saying here, it's not—I mean, yes—but it’s about the people. Talk a little bit about that in regards to leadership.

Mark Cole:                  Well, and I was in the room when John taught this lesson as he mentioned in the recording, I think last week in Part 1. But it struck me with an incredible poignant point that he made today…that social skills is friendliness with a purpose. Social skills is friendliness with a purpose. And, again, I was in the room when he did this and I heard it again today, and I went, “Woah! I’ve never—it didn’t sink in then as much as it sunk in today!” John, as you just said, is one of the most intentional people that I know. Very, relational, loves, loves people! Loves to connect with people, but make no mistake, if he’s having dinner with you, and you think you’re running through a drive-thru, he’s got an intentional question to ask you because he believes that not only asking questions will make him better, but it will make you better as you reflect on your answer. So, I’ve sat at many dinners with him with Presidents, Prime Ministers, top CEO’s of some of the largest companies in the world, and John will come to that dinner, social as it may seem, John will come to that dinner with a set of questions that he’s going to bring. Not only to learn, but also, to engage conversation because of the intentionality there. You know, we’re wrapping up two weeks of talking about emotional intelligence. We’re talking to leaders, the women and men that listen to this podcast, they’re either leaders, they want to be leaders, or they realize that position has nothing to do with leadership and they want to increase their influence which is leadership. And, yet, so many times in leadership, we try to eradicate the heart, the emotion of it, and try to lead with our brain; and that’s why when John was talking about empathy and he says, “Hey, great leaders went over the heart and minds. Hearts first, and then the mind.” Most leaders, you, me, Chris, I can call you out on this podcast, I’ll call me out, most of us try to capture the mind. How we’re going to do it; then why we’re going to do it. That’s why Simon Sinek’s book, Start with Why is so important! You’ve got to capture that heart and you will engage the mind much more critically, and much more helpful when you do that. One of the things that I love to hear from people is, “Mark, you’re so authentic.” Which really means, you just share it all. I’ve done it on this podcast, Chris, being with you in the last few weeks, man I’ve shared about dropping the ball on a call that I had to announce the team. And, I get a lot of compliments or comments about authentically leading. I want to talk just for a moment about that, because I do believe in emotional intelligence and I believe it is more important than IQ. I do.

Chris Goede:               Completely agree!

Mark Cole:                  And, John would believe that, and so many people…and Daniel Goleman who’s provided a lot of this content that we’ve talked about here. They’re on to something here. I think a lot of times people force authenticity or they use authenticity to manipulate and get close to people? Number one, it may serve you for a minute or two, or three, or five, or ten. But eventually that’s going to catch up with you if your authenticity is not from a true place of your own motive to become better. Now, I’ve also seen people that are authentic because they’re scared. Because they are in despair. Because they don’t know what to do and so, they’re leaders they’ve got a position and they go in and say, “I’m going to tell you, it’s the worst day of my life. The boss just got onto me, and they might fire me tomorrow.” And the team is sitting here going, “What the heck just happened?” Their leader is coming in and putting it under the “label” or the “banner” of authenticity and what they have done with that authentic moment is they have destroyed the teams hope for the future. I wrote this down, it’s really simple, but I don’t believe—I wrote this down—don’t share your despair; inspire with desire. Now, that’s as hokey as it comes. You’ll never hear John Maxwell say that, you’ve got to be southern with his southern voice to say that. But here’s what I mean, I don’t show authenticity because I’m struggling and I’m nervous and I don’t know if I’m going to make it. I will only be vulnerable when I know there is going to be a better tomorrow because of the struggle of today.

Chris Goede:               Yeah, that’s good!

Mark Cole:                  It’s not because I’m not scared to let people know that I don’t know about tomorrow, but I, as a leader, have the responsibility to inspire hope, not bring people down with my authenticity that the world is falling apart and the sky is falling like Henny Penny told us.

Chris Goede:               Yeah, yeah.

Mark Cole:                  No, our goal has got to be to use authenticity to inspire for a better tomorrow. I’m okay with telling people that today stinks. No two good consecutive days in a person’s life. But I’m not okay leaving it at that. As a leader, if I don’t know or can’t communicate something better because of my authenticity, I need to go get settled my hope quotient before I give my despair or discouragement quotient.

Chris Goede:               And, you know what comes to mind, which talking through that, made me think which is, you got to believe yourself first before you can communicate it to your team. You’ve got to be able to do that in order to do it authentically. So, back to even when John was talking about in regards to motivation. Your self’s got to perceive what you’re doing for others, but that is a good word. Listen, as we wrap up, and this is a lot. Emotional intelligence, EQ, you talked about how it’s more important. I know I’ve seen studies done where leaders spend 85% of their time on the EQ side of leading people verses the IQ. So, I mean, I’ve just got to ask a simple question before closing thoughts from you to our listeners which is, on a weekly basis, if you were to take your time and you were to come up with a quotient, EQ verses IQ, where would you be? Where would it fall? And, what we’re hearing from John, and hearing from you is that, man, it’s got to be 85% plus in order for us to take our team to the organization, you know, to become that next level of leader. So, just wrap us up. Any closing thoughts on this content as we finish today’s session?

Mark Cole:                  So, the only thing that I would add, because I think we, Chris, have done a good job painting a picture of how John lives in an emotional intelligent world. How we attempt through our companies. The only thing I would do is piggy back on what you just said, and I would challenge every one of us, if we have through this two part episode of Emotional Intelligence, if we have been struck that we can do a better job with this, I would challenge you…you may be driving in the car, you may be sitting at home, may be listening in your office, I challenge you to just shut everything off for a minute. Just stop the noise. Go inside you, and go, “How can I employ emotional intelligence and become a better leader?” A better husband for me, a better mate for some of you. A better parent. What is it about this emotional intelligence idea that would up level my influence in my world? And, I think if you’ll do that, shut the noise down, I think you will absolutely become a better leader and the people in your world will become better because of your intentionality.

Chris Goede:               That’s so good! Well, listen, thank you so much for joining us for this two-part series on emotional intelligence. If you’re listening to Part 2 first, make sure you go back, listen to Part 1, John’s got some incredible stuff there. Thanks for context today, Mark, on this content. Hey, if you are interested in the show notes, I need you to go to Maxwellpodcast.com/emotion, there you will see a “Bonus Resource” button if you’ll click on that, you’ll be able to download those notes for both Part 1 and Part 2. Thanks so much for joining us today! We look forward to having you back with us in our next episode!

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